-- Tough Times...

FYI - This post was typed up on April 23rd.

Hey Blogerellas.. It's just me.

You might have noticed that I haven't been blogging/you tubing. or tweeting much recently, and when I have I have probably been complaining about being poorly. Well I have been - I've had a shitty time of it for the last month or so. If you don't want to read a woeful post about my poorlyness, close the page now..

Back in 2009 I was rushed to hospital for an operation on a Pilonidal Abcess (click here to find out what one of them is. I do not have a hairy ass, btw!) .. which came out of nowhere. It was really a really scary time for me, and it was all so unexpected.

Well a few weeks ago I started feeling similar pains again, So I rushed to the docs to get it checked, and it was the same thing again - But we had caught it earlier that the first time (Sugery was the last resort - but it got so bad that it was the only option back then) .. I was given antibiotics and told to go back if it didn't go away. For the next few days I was uncomfortable, you can't sit properly, move properly, or do much really - I was an emotional wreck, crying lots, very depressed. Anyway, within a few days, to my surprise the abcess burst .. I was assured by my boyfriend and mum that this was good, so I went back to the doctor who confirmed it was positive.

So now I had a wound area that had to be dressed by nurses, daily. Everything was ok, but a doctor suggested that I carried on with another week on antibiotics, So I took them. By now though, I had started to get an awful and agonising pain in my abdomen, I had no clue what it was, but after a bit of research and some online reviews I came to the relisation that it was the strong antibiotics I was taking - The abdomen pain was so bad that I couldn't breathe properly and I couldn't sleep - So I stopped them, and went back to the docs asap. He said that everything seemed to be doing ok on it's own, and just to keep the area clean and keep coming to dressing changes.. So, no more antibiotics.

For the past couple of weeks I have been going to the nurse every other day, with my boyfriend changing my dressing inbetween .. All was feeling good the nurses were positive and I felt that I was getting back to myself.... Until last weekend - Things started to get more sore than they had been, my BF said he couldn't see anything wrong, and so did the nurse when I saw her.. But I knew it was feeling worse and I was getting a little paranoid - Then the next time my BF changed it I told him where it was hurting and he said there was a small red lump there. Sigh.

So whilst visiting the nurse the following day, I told her. She asked if I would like a doctor to check it for me, to which I agreed. The doc came in, took a look and squeezed it, hard. It hurt, but I stayed calm, knowing he was only doing what he had to. The fact that after four weeks that there was still discharge (Sorry!) coming from the wound seemed crazy to me .. but as he squeezed the 'newer' lump, he said it is connected to the same wound (which was positive) ... So basically, it is another abcess, but that is oozing already through the same tract as the last one was .. He prescribed me more antibiotics, but advised not to take them unless it got worse over the long easter weekend .. He also told my BF to keep an eye on it, and it it gets larger, or stops discharging and the pressure builds, I should see a doctor. . Oh, and he also said that if it is no better within two weeks, he thinks it will be a good idea to refer me to a specialist at the hospital, where the out come will no doubt be the same as what happened in 2009 .. an operation, and months of follow up nurses appointments.

I don't really know why I am telling you all this - I guess I just needed to talk about it - I'm over emotional at the moment, I'm sore and I'm down ..

 (More recent update 10 July)

So, up until just before the end of June I was still visiting the nurse, for dressing changes, So about 3 months. It was up and down in that time, We would think it had started healing because the dressings were clean, but then it would start again.. That happened three times I think. My doctor did refer me to the specialist, and I waited weeks for an appointment, which I went to last Monday (4th July).

One day, a few weeks ago though, it did stop, and began healing. My nurse said I could stop going there anymore, and that my BF could keep an eye on things. She said if it got bad again to call her, and that I should call the hospital about the appointment I had, to see if they thought it necessary to see me.

So all was well, I was feeling a bit happier and less painful. I called the hospital on the Friday before my appointment. I spoke with a nurse who advised that I went anyway, just to have it checked out by an expert.

My BF had noticed just the day before my appointment that there was a small raised white lump - But I couldn't feel anything from it, so we went on as normal. I went to my appointment, saw a rather snotty specialist who didn't want to listen to what I had to say really. He checked me out, saw the lump, squeezed it, and then told me of my options.

1) Leave it, hope that it carries on as it is at the moment (not bothering me much) .. With the risk that it could turn very bad and infected again and need immediate surgery (as in 2009.)

2) Have Surgery, have whatever is under the surface removed.

He advised option two, and I nodded and agreed. I left the hospital last week an emotional wreck again. I thought I was getting better, and didn't expect that.

So now I'm waiting again. He has written to my doctor and I just have to wait and see..

I'm not sure of what else to say really. Some of you said I should post this, So I wanted too. I'm trying my hardest to be positive and just get on as normal at the moment..

That's all for now guys... So, how are all of you? .. Keep smiling! :)

Well done if you made it this far!